is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
