I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
