U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
