so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
