but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
