scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
nutella sex= disaster
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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