somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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