I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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