Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
