I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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