and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
