I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I party with great urgency now.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
