You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
