i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
