We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
