Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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