I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
