I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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