he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
