they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
