So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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