Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
