I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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