let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
