she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
