wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
