i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
