ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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