is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
