Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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