do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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