i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
