I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
