Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
