I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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