Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Found the puke drawer
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
