Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
