Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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