After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
