I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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