My sheets look like a crime scene.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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