can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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