She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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