You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is my gift to your gina
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize