She's JV to your varsity
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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