when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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