did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
