used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
