he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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