I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
