so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
