3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
